Inattraction
by kumori.no.hi
Summary: Momoshiro and Kaidoh argue. Constantly. And then Fuji decides they look like a couple. Oneshot.


**Inattraction**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

* * *

"Shut up, asshole!"

"Screw you, bastard!"

As always, Momoshiro and Kaidoh were having an argument. This time, the group of tennis regulars was lunching at the Kawamuras' sushi shop, a celebratory meal for their latest win.

And of course, no celebration would be complete without some bickering. Luckily, it was quite late, and there were no customers other than the team to hear the loud fight.

"It belongs to _me_, stupid mamushi!"

"Fshuu, no way in hell, peach butt!"

Fighting over the last piece of sushi on the plates, the rest of Seigaku's team members watched on amusedly.

"Ne Oishi," Eiji piped, turning to his doubles partner. "Don't they look like best friends?" The remark caused everyone to raise their eyebrows, with Fuji and Echizen laughing.

It was Fuji who replied to Eiji's observation. "Maa, I think they look more like quarreling newlyweds." He smiled a devious smile, to which everyone else (excluding the fighting Momoshiro and Kaidoh, and of course the ever-composed Tezuka) shuddered.

They did _not_ want to know what Fuji was thinking.

Turning their attention back to the squabble, they were just in time to hear…

"Yo mama's so stupid, at bottom of application where it says _Sign Here_ – she put Aquarius."

"Yeah? Well, yo mama's so stupid she asked for a refund on a jigsaw puzzle complaining it was broken!"

"And yo mama's so _ugly_ she looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure!"

"Pshh, I have nothing bad to say about yo mama, 'cuz her _face_ says it all..."

Eiji started giggling, while Echizen groaned. "Oh please no, they are _not_ starting the 'yo mama' jokes."

Inui cleared his throat and said, "According to data, there is a 63.5% chance that they will move on to insulting each other's looks next."

And sure enough:

"Yeah? Well no one wants to be _near_ you! I bet your parents have a hard time living under the same roof as you!"

"No one on earth would want to be with _you_, ugly fatass! Didn't you have a crush on Tachibana's sister? I remember she ran away after one glance!"

"Idiot viper! I did _not_ have a crush on An, and she 'ran away' because it was time for her to go home!"

"Oh, you even know the girl's name, eh Momo_shiri_?"

"Shut up!"

Interesting how a little argument over nothing (well, a piece of sushi was considered something, but Fuji had long ago eaten the poor morsel of food right under the arguers' noses) could escalate into something so… _profound_.

And then Kawamura, the quiet Taka-san, made a rather intriguing comment to his watching teammates: "They do look like a couple," he said thoughtfully.

There was a beat of silence, save for the heated verbal spar.

"But I wish they'd stop arguing," Taka added hastily.

Then Fuji said, "Well, you all know what couples do to make up after a disagreement, ne?" When everyone stared at him blankly, he smiled and told them all, "Watch and see."

The boy raised an arm up right behind the head of Kaidoh, who was in the seat next to him. Oishi, sensing an impending doom, quickly stood up with a "No!" to try and block Fuji from doing whatever he was doing.

… and ended up elbowing Momoshiro's head forward, just as Fuji pushed Kaidoh.

_SMACK!_

The quarreling duo's heads crashed together. Or, to be specific, a certain part of their faces touched.

Both pulled apart hurriedly, red in the face and spluttering, as Fuji happily announced, "… a _kiss_."

By this time, nearly everyone around the table was rolling around in laughter. Eiji's eyes were wide, as Taka and Oishi blushed slightly.

"Approximately 72% of arguments between couples are solved with a kiss," Inui provided helpfully, setting off another round of mirth.

Momoshiro and Kaidoh glared at their companions, daring them to say anything else. They were also accompanied by a stern look from Tezuka that screamed, _Say something and you'll be doing laps at practice tomorrow_.

So no one said anything else.

But at least there was no more arguing, right?

With the meal finished, it was time for the tennis regulars to part ways and return home. Goodbyes were given all around, laughing glances thrown at the newly dubbed 'couple' from time to time.

The couple in question, of course, was trying their hardest to avoid each other's eyes. With a quick "'Bye" to the team, they headed off in separate directions.

"Mada mada dane, sempai!" Echizen called after them.

Momoshiro gave Ryoma the finger, while Kaidoh looked over his shoulder and hissed angrily.

"Momoshiro, 50 laps tomorrow!"

"_What_!?"

* * *

A week had passed, and the incident between Kaidoh and Momoshiro had mostly been forgotten. Mostly, because the two who were involved just _could not_ forget, and because Fuji, being the instigator, was too amused to.

So, as Fuji feigned disregard and quietly observed, Kaidoh and Momoshiro carefully avoided each other like the plague.

In school, they rarely spoke, since there really was no need to. At practice, besides playing against each other from time to time, they mostly just growled at each other, and then, after realizing what they'd just done, they would blush and walk away.

This went on for quite a while, when Eiji, ever the endearing loudmouth, decided one day to say, "Ne, why is it so quiet around here?"

Echizen, sitting next to the cat-like boy, asked, "What d'you mean, Eiji-sempai?"

"Don't you think it's just… too… _quiet_?"

Echizen looked around the tennis courts, hearing the yelling of team members and countless tennis balls bouncing. An airplane overhead zoomed loudly.

"He means, quieter than usual," Oishi supplied.

"Ah." Echizen frowned for a moment, then twisted his head back and forth, searching for someone, or to be specific, _two certain_ someones. "Where are Momo-sempai and Kaidoh-sempai?"

Since it was the latter part of practice, many team members had left, and it seemed that the two in question had already gone.

* * *

Momoshiro quickly walked out of the practice courts and headed home.

_Damn that stupid mamushi_, he thought angrily. _This is all his fault_.

A little voice in the back of his head, however, disagreed, telling him it was actually Fuji's fault that he couldn't face Kaidoh like a man, and instead opted for running away like a little w–

"Agh shut up!" Momoshiro berated the voice. He then shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. _Hearing voices and talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity…_

The irritated boy kicked the curb of the sidewalk he was walking past in a burst of frustration. And then he hopped on one foot madly, due to the resulting pain.

"Fshh, looking like an idiot as usual."

Back on two feet, Momoshiro spun around to see a scowling Kaidoh. _That's it_, he mentally decided. _He's the reason why I've been acting so weirdly, kicking sidewalk curbs and going crazy!_

"Why the hell are you here?!" he asked rudely.

"Oh gee, I don't know, maybe to _eat_?" Kaidoh replied, his tone sarcastic, gesturing to the McDonald's sign right above them.

Momoshiro started an angry reply at the snake-like boy, but then stopped himself as a vivid memory rushed to the surface of his mind: him kissing.

To be more specific, him kissing _Kaidoh_. With a growl of frustration, he turned back around and began to leave.

A strong hand suddenly caught him by the wrist, stopping him. The culprit was Kaidoh, face flushed.

"What d'you want, bastard?" Momoshiro stated more than asked. Even to himself, his voice sounded odd, a bit uneven. And for some reason, his cheeks were reddening to match the viper's!

"Uhn… you… we…" Kaidoh fumbled around for the right words. "We haven't really been… _talking_."

Momoshiro snorted. "Talk? You and me? We _never_ talk. S'just arguing." And here they were, having a semi-normal conversation. Oh the irony.

Kaidoh glared. "I mean, _recently_. You've been acting weird."

"Who, me?" Momoshiro blinked, surprised. "You think _I've_ been acting weird? Speak for yourself, dumbass!"

"I'm the dumbass? Well you're an asshole!" Kaidoh bit back.

Soon, Momoshiro started yelling, with Kaidoh shouting right back at him. Neither seemed to notice they were right in front of McDonald's, where very annoyed customers were starting to complain.

After being kicked out of the fast-food restaurant's vicinity, both boys realized with a start that they had actually _argued_. For the first time in weeks, they had actually spoken.

Looking up, their eyes met, and then, as if synchronized, they looked away, blushes reappearing on their faces.

_Damn, still not normal yet._

"Sorry," both said simultaneously. An awkward pause ensued.

Suddenly, Momoshiro, on impulse, stuck out a hand. Kaidoh stared at his hand, not comprehending.

Momoshiro rolled his eyes. "Idiot mamushi, you're supposed to shake it!"

"What for?"

"Er…" _Yeah, what for?_ Momoshiro asked himself. "…Friends," he finally grunted.

"…Friends?"

Was the guy retarded or something? "Yeah, so we can stop being strange around each other! And so we can stop avoiding each other and stuff…" Momoshiro trailed off.

Kaidoh took his hand in a vise-like grip and shook. "Fine," he snapped.

All of a sudden, a passing newspaper boy swerved by on his bike, narrowly missing running Momoshiro over. Momoshiro jumped forward out of reflex…

… straight into Kaidoh.

For the second time, the boys' lips touched in an abrupt kiss. This time, Kaidoh's eyes were wide, staring into Momoshiro's equally surprised eyes.

_His eyes… are a very warm shade of brown…_ Momoshiro noticed.

_His hair… does it usually look that soft? And that messy?_ Kaidoh thought.

They pulled apart, this time less quickly than when they did at the sushi shop. Both were panting heavily, and their faces were burning crimson.

"Uh… that was an _accident_," Momoshiro said after a while, putting emphasis on _accident_.

"Yeah, we're _friends_," Kaidoh agreed.

The boys were still looking at each other, and both smiled at exactly the same time. Momoshiro turned away, heading home. Kaidoh, deciding it was better _not_ to eat burgers, also turned, heading in the direction opposite from Momoshiro.

Still smiling, they decided that, if they were friends, then it would be tolerable.

And although neither would admit it, they had each enjoyed the kiss. Just a little.

Unconsciously, they thought of Inui's words: _Approximately 72% of arguments between couples are solved with a kiss_.

An argument?

Definitely.

A kiss?

Well, yeah.

A couple?

… Maybe.

* * *

A/N: Well, here's my first PoT fic! After a computer crash completely obliterating my perfectly written chapter for my ES21 story, I decided that I needed vent my anger. I needed to vent. VENT.... er, haha. :)

Anyway, this was the result; hope you enjoyed!


End file.
